I am NOT OCD!!
My name is Bill and I am OCD.
My wife says so.
I disagree.
I just like things neat and where they belong. I mean I’m not stupid about it. I don’t have our spices alphabetized or my clothes arranged by color and style or anything, but things belong where they belong. The Universe demands order. If there is no order then Jupiter could just orbit off to wherever it wanted. Gravity would work at its convenience…. some days you would fall down, others you would fall up. Randomness has its place…Lottery numbers, channel surfing, work ethic, my thought processes…those are good kinds of random. All in all, Life simply makes more sense without total randomness.
Randomness = Chaos.
It’s true.
Google it.
Saturday, Sandy & I were standing in a long line at our local grocery. Waiting in line is such a bore. Sandy will flip through the Enquirer or People magazine checking up on Brad and Angela, but I cannot bring myself to read that crud. (I will on occasion browse through Rachel Ray’s 30 Minute Meals, but then mentioning that would be random and we know where that leads.) To pass the time I’ll usually just check out the other shoppers and what they’re buying. You can’t imagine the new products I’ve discovered that way…you can even learn a few things about a person from what’s in the basket. Hmmm, Chap Stick, breath mints and Boone’s Farm Apple Wine…date night. Tortilla chips, bug spray, a case of Bud Lite and 10 lbs. of sausage…the in-laws are over for a cook out. Alfalfa sprouts, tofu, eggplant, and a bag of chocolate chip cookies…someone is confused about dieting. (Damn…randomness again.)
Anyway, back to the story at hand. I’m critiquing shopping carts to pass the time. I look to my left…there is a young gentleman whose cart is jammed full of stuff. Just thrown in all willy-nilly. Tsk, tsk… so random. How gauche. His eggs will be crushed and he’ll wonder why. Kids these days. No sense of order. Then I glance at the cart to our right and give Sandy a nudge with my elbow.
“Take a look at that guys cart!”
His boxed items are laid touching, end-to-end along the perimeter of the cart like a little cardboard wall. He’s placed within those mighty walls his canned goods to the rear, then going toward the front of the cart are the can drinks, bottles and jars. Vegetables and fruits are neatly stacked in the upper area where you would place a child if you were buying one, and finally, below the cart are placed his paper products.
“What a goober. I can’t believe the OCDness of this guy!!”
Sandy replies, ”Yeah, so unlike your cart.”
“What?”
“Look. I keep the meats and the frozen stuff together cuz it keeps everything cold. The beer and sodas go to the rear because they’re bulky and it makes more room to place the other stuff in the basket. I have to keep the fruit and veggies up here so they don’t get squashed. But everything is just in there. I mean it’s not all neat and orderly and stuff. My boxes don’t even touch! And besides…when you go shopping you always crush the bread and break the eggs!”
“Whatever…OCD-boy.”
That hurt.
The truth sometimes does.
For now on…I shop alone!!
Bp
Wow! You really are OCD! Love you bill!
I shop like you do, Bill, frozen food, butter, sour cream, frozen juices are kept together, and next to them are the fresh veggies, fruit, etc. So in my opinion, I must be OCD, also.
Hmmmmmm….I didn’t know Bill………is that our HSSCO JJ?? So what happened to your desk —- jejeje (Is that the way Angel would giggle?) Your cool….enjoy your writings!!
I am so happy that I get to claim you as family.
thanks for the chuckle OCD boy!
Hey Biill ! ou ever been to Estes Park Colorado? I Think that is where I caught OCD. Man I got it bad too. Shopping is just like you said, and at work, brother. I can’t leave the crane cab till I check the controls at least four times.
Let me know when they discover the cure , ’cause as far as I’m concerned normal sucks!
I am OCD when I put my groceries on the belt. Hard stuff (cans, etc), cold stuff, soft stuff, boxes, veggies… they are put in their respective groups on the belt. I don’t know why I bother, because the scanners and baggers never notice my well-thought out organization and throw things in the bags willy-nilly anyway.
Tee hee! This is SO FUNNY! Y’all would laugh even harder if you knew how funny it was that Bill is picking on someone else for being OCD about his grocery cart! Oyyyy! I have yet, EVER. . . in a million years of marriage put something in our grocery cart that Bill didn’t politely (but immediately) pick it up and place it in its proper place. Thanks for showing me the humor in it. I’ll be much less likely to pick that jar of pickles right back up and throw it at you next time
Bill (& Sandy),
You two just crack me up! I’m a little OCD too when I shop – cold stuff together, produce and squishables together (althought I make most of my bread at home, so that’s not an issue – random thought!), and non-food in a separate bag!
Bill, I love reading your blog. So entertaining. When are you going to write a book?
As soon as I learn my A-B-C’s.
I don’t think we’re OCD…keeping items apart just makes sense! I love the phrase “squishables”!
Hilarious. When I used to eat REALLY healthy, I liked thinking about all the people that would look in my cart and know how great I was. Ha. Pride.